Smash Brothers For Life, Book One: The First Round
by One Dude
Summary: This is my first fan fic. The first of three. It may seem like a comdey at first, but after it gets deeper into the story it becomes more serious. It'll always maintain some light touches of comedy though. Pay attention to the tense I write in.
1. Prologue

Book One: The First Round

Prologue

The year is 2002. The world is ruled by an evil organization known to everyone as the Terrible Three. Their power remains unsurpassed. Anyone who dares to stand up to them are stricken down without hesitation. Oh yes there were some, brave or foolish as they may be, who dared to stand up to them. If only they had been aided in their time of need, they might have stood a chance. But the Terrible Three's combined power was much too much. Death and agony ride the winds that sweep this planet. It wasn't always like this though. I lay here in this prison cell lamenting over past mistakes. I regret past decisions and dwell in my guilt. For this world that exists now… this terrible place… is my entire fault.


	2. The Beginning of The Beginning

1-1: The Beginning of The Beginning

This story starts off in a simpler time. Back when you could see the light from the sun. Back when this world still had color. Back when all there was was this world…

It was 10:02 on a Saturday and a splatter painted the window.

"Ah shit! What the fuck?" he muttered as he rose up from underneath his sheet.

Mario hopped out of bed to find the cause of the disruption of his beauty sleep. He opened the window and saw a young boy with a cap on the sidewalk carrying a bat and carton of eggs. He looks up at the enraged mushroom kingdom celebrity and cackles.

" God damnit Ness!" He screamed out the window, "I fucking swear to god I'm gonna kill you!"

"Nyeh nyeh!" Ness retorted and blew a raspberry.

This angered Mario even more so. He slammed the window and started hastily getting dressed.

"Holy shit!" Mario's brother all but fell off of his bed, "We're under attack! It's the ghosts! They've come back for my mansion! Quick get the vacuum!"

" Luigi shut up, it's just me! Ma-rio!" Mario said in an inexplicably heavy Italian accent.

" Oh god… I thought…" he shuddered, "Why are you in such a rush? It's freaking Saturday. No work, remember?"

"It's that Ness kid! He's at it again!" Mario yelled after tripping over is half pulled up pants.

Luigi looked at the window: the scene of the crime.

" You know it's not that big of a deal… you could easily spray it off with your supersoa-"

" FLUDD!" Mario corrected.

"With your ''FLUDD'." Luigi said mockingly

Mario shook his head, "That's not the point; he does this every weekend! I've been working my ass off this entire week and all I want in return is one day of peace. ONE FUCKING DAY!"

Luigi lifted a finger, "But-"

Mario replied before he could finish, "Shut up! Quit arguing with me, you're slowing me the fuck down."

Before Luigi even has the chance to respond, Mario gunned down the stairs.

" SO..MANY..FREAKING…STEPS." He managed to say between gasps.

Mario finally reached the bottom and slammed the door open. He wheezes hard and looked around. Ness was long gone. He stood in the doorway for a bit before hanging his head in defeat and heading back inside. Luigi saw him as he walked down the steps. An awkward silence hung in the air.

They stood their, not looking at one another, soaking in the silence until someone decided to say something.

"He got away didn't-"

But Mario raised his hand. " DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. I just want to sit down and read my paper."

It was at this point Luigi had an important decision to make. He could either let Mario keep living in his fantasy world, or destroy it with harsh reality.

"…But it's Saturday." He chose the second option.

" SHIT!" Mario exclaimed, "I'm going back to bed! Don't bother me for anything!" He ran past Luigi and up to their room.

Luigi figured, that since he was already up, he might as well get the mail. He sifted through it as usual, looking for anything out of the ordinary. "Hmm… junk…junk… helllloooo!"

And wouldn't you know it. Like out of the beginning of a game with uninteresting plot, he found a pink letter. It smelled of peaches, and had the Mushroom Kingdom seal on the back. He opened it, despite it having Mario's name on it.

"_Dear Mario,_

_I'm throwing another party! I have some out of town friends in town that are just dying to meet you. Oh and there is a really big announcement that I'm going to make. I need you here! Pleeeaaase come!_

_Love,_

_Peach_

_XOXOXOX_

_P.S. I really hope Bowser doesn't crash the party like the last ten billion times!_

_P.P.S. Oh and you can bring Luigi too."_

He read the last sentence to over to himself about a dozen times.

"Bring Luigi too? SHE WANTS ME TO GO!" His heart did back flips, front flips, and kick flips.

"Oh I have to wake up Mario right away so we ca-"

Luigi stopped mid-sentence for a thought had just occurred to him. If he were to get Mario, these "friends" would completely ignore him. But what did Mario say again? _"Don't bother me for anything!"_ A grin stretched across his face. He skipped merrily towards the castle, practicing what he would say, making sure he didn't make a fool of himself.


	3. Attention, Thy Center is Luigi

1-2: Attention, thy center is Luigi!

"Where could he be?" she said looking over the sea of heads.

"Well Princess, it's Saturday…" her servant toad commented.

"So?"

"Mario is off on weekends…" he added.

"Soooo?" she repeated

"So he's probably sleeping in…" he added once more.

Toad was starting to get annoyed. They were staring at each other eye to eye. He gave Princess Peach a look that dared her to ask again.

"…so?"

"He hasn't read your letter yet!" He exclaimed.

"How DARE you use that tone of voice with me!" she said appalled.

"Well it's not my fault you're a stupid bitch!" No sooner did these words come out did he regret them.

"WHA? WHY I NEVER! Guards take this toa-!"

The trumpets by the door blared. The people parted to open a path, which revealed a rug from the door to the platform Peach sat upon.

"Presenting! Mr. Mario!" The Announcer Toad …announced.

"YAY! Told you so!" Peach's face lit up.

"Well I'll be…" Toad said. Never in his days did he imagine Mario would wake up before noon.

The crowd roared in approval, whistling and hooting for their mushroom hero.

"That is Mr. LUIGI Mario." The Announcer Toad continued.

The crowd stopped cheering as fast as they started. The radiance that emanated from Peach's face faded.

"Oh…" that was all she could say. Toad hid a smirk because, for the time being, she had forgotten about their previous argument.

Luigi walked in slowly, off put by the unwelcoming welcome. He looked around at the room. They all looked back at him. It was deathly silent, we the exception of someone who coughed and a cricket that had some how gotten in to the party.

"Uhh..heh.. hello!" Luigi said nervously, trying to break the tension. But this was some kind of space age, heavy-duty tension. He waved to nobody in particular. Toad was trying as hard as he could not to explode with laughter. Thankfully, Peach stepped in to save him from this torture.

" Luigi! So glad you could make it! Please come up here!" she said as she waved her hand.

Luigi looked up at her. She was clearly n angel. Sent to save him from this slow death and take him to her heaven where she sits on her throne. And with this recognition by the princess, the party was brought back to life and everyone resumed their mindless chitchat.

He reached the platform where she and a few other people sat. One of them oddly enough was Ness. One was a teenager who wore colors that matched Luigi's. The next was a fox, standing upright, and wearing clothes. There was also a robot-like creature for good measure.

"Hey Luigi, where's Mario?" Princess Peach asked him bluntly.

"Oh he's really beat from work so he slept in today." He made a weak smile.

"Oh…" she said disappointed.

Toad couldn't hold it in any more; he wore a smile from ear to ear.

"Yeah. I would've told him about your party, but he really didn't want to be disturbed." He realized his mistake. "Not that you're a disturbance! I mean you're beautiful!" He instantly kicked himself in the butt (not literally mind you). The awkward silence was back with a vengeance.

"Oh.. umm thank you.." she replied and quickly changed the subject. "So! Let me introduce you to my guests. Everyone this is Luigi." They all looked at him in bewilderment. The fox, who was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, was the first to speak up.

"I thought you were going to bring Mario, not some green wannabe."

"FOX! This is Mario's brother. I'm sorry Luigi! Forgive him; he left his manners in his ship." Peach said trying to save Luigi's already shattered ego.

"Hmph."

"It's ok, really." Luigi didn't want to make enemies.

"Oh, well you already know Ness, don't you? The genius child that lives next to you."

"All to well." Luigi gave a deceitful smile.

"Hello Mr. Weegee!" Ness returned the smile.

"That's LEW-WEEGEE." Luigi said. He was starting to have trouble keeping the smile consistent.

"Whatever you say Weegee." Ness said getting under his skin.

Peach leaned toward Ness to whisper to him, although it was quite audible.

"_I thought I told you to wake up Mr. Mario!"_

"_I did but he must've gone back to bed!"_

Luigi couldn't help but laugh at the irony.

Peach gave him a confused look, but shook it off and continued with the introductions. "This is Link! He's the hero of time. He's practically as famous as Mario."

They looked at each other. Luigi said, "Hi." Link opened his mouth to reply but an extremely high-pitched voice came out.

"Hey!" He said.

Both looked at each other in confusion. But then a glowing pair of wings flew out from under his hat.

"How on earth did you get out of your bottle!?" He said pulling an empty bottle from out of seemingly nowhere. It fluttered away from them into the crowd shouting "Hey! Look! Listen!" at everything on the way.

Link turned to Luigi, "Excuse me if you please. HYEAAA!"

He ran into the crowd flailing his bottle like a madman. They stood and watched him disappear into the mass of people. Peach once again, moved on with the introductions.

"This is Samus. I know what you're thinking but there's a person underneath there. A bounty hunter in fact! Never says much though."

"Hello?" Luigi said as if on the phone. No reply. It only moved to face Fox and made an incomprehensible computerized noise. Fox snickered

"What?" Luigi was annoyed.

"Nothing, it's nothing." He prevented Luigi from further pursuing the matter by changing the subject. "So Princess what's the big news?" Link came back with the captured glowing entity.

"Yes, what is going on?"

"Well… I'm still waiting for another friend." She looked to the door.

"Oh don't worry; I'll be sure to tell Mario when he gets up." Luigi reassured.

"Thank you, but I wasn't talking about him."

"Then who-" Fox cut him off.

"Oh no."

"Yes." Peach said blushing.

"Tell me you didn't invite him." Fox had the look of a man who just found out he got a girl pregnant.

"Who?" Luigi asked, still in the dark.

"Why not? I like him! He's not as bad as you say, I don't see why you don't like him." She said defensively. Fox lifted a finger.

"Well for one, he's a jackass."

" Not to me he's not!"

"Of course he's not to _you_."

"Who the hell are you talking abou-" Luigi tried to get into the discussion, but was once again cut off, this time by a loud roar. Not an animalistic one, but the roar of an engine. Everything fell silent, even the tiny taps of the glow trying to escape the bottle ceased.

"Oh I just figured it out." Link said.


	4. The Big Surprise

1-3: The Big Surprise

A big floating vehicle pulled up in front of the castle. Out stepped a man in a purple jumpsuit stepped out. The crowd went berserk! They may have cheered when they thought Luigi was Mario, but this made the previous cheer sound like a mere holler. The man walked up to the platform, waving and signing autographs as he went.

He looked to the platform where all the important people sat.

"Peeeach! Baby!"

"Pleased you could make it Captain Falcon."

"The pleasure is all mine!" He took her hand and kissed it. "You know I'd do anything for you babe."

Fox scoffed extra loud. Falcon wheeled around to face him.

"You say something?" He said, raising an eyebrow.

He accepted his challenge. "What if I did?"

"Why don't you man up and say it to my face?" He raised his fist and flexed.

"YOU WANNA GO? CUZ IF YOU WANNA GO WE'LL GO!" Their faces were practically touching.

"OH I WANNA GO!"

"IS THAT SO?"

"YEAH!"

"YEAH?"

"YEAH!"

"BOYS, BOYS, PLEASE!" Peach broke them up.

They stopped their squabbling and looked around. A million eyes stared back at them.

Peach figured this was the best time to make her announcement.

"Well, now that we have everybody's attention. I guess I'll reveal the big secret! This year we'll-"

A Random Toad yelled in the crowd, "I LOVE YOU PRINCESS!!!"

Peach laughed, "Teehee… I love you too but let me finish." The Random Toad smiled.

"This year we'll be holding the very first SUPER SMASH BROS. TOURNAMENT!"

She looked around expecting applause before realizing no one knew what she was talking about. "It's a FIGHTING TOURNAMENT."

The crowd roared and hooted as always.

Peach continued, "Anyone can enter! The tournament will be held in three months time. Registration is in one week! Further details will be released later."

Luigi looked around. Was he expected to fight? He had not been known to be the violent type. That's ridiculous. Ludicrous. What reason would he have to inflict pain on another person? Peach turned to face them.

"You guys will enter won't you?" She asked. Every one of them nodded, except Luigi. They were all looking at him awaiting his answer. This was his chance to outshine Mario. He could see it now…

" _The winner is…. LUIGI"! The announcer… announces. The audience chants his name as he receives his trophy from Peach._

"_Oh Luigi! You're so big and strong!" She says as she holds onto his arm._

He smiled while still in his little dream world. He had lost his grip on reality.

"Luigi… are you ok?" Peach waved her hand in front of him.

Luigi came back to planet Nintendo, "What? Oh…yeah! Heh."

" So you're going to fight then? Oh how wonderful!" Peach smiled at him.

"Oh w-wait-" But it was too late. He was in and there was no way out… at least not without looking like a coward.

Fox felt he had gone too long without saying anything. "Huh, you can fight?"

"Wel-" Luigi gave a nervous look.

"FOX!" Peach shot him a look. "Must you be so rude?" C. Falcon also felt he was quiet for much too long.

"Yeah Fox! "

Fox inexplicably exploded at this comment. "OMG WOULD YOU SHUT YOUR FACE!?!

"THE ONLY THING I'LL BE SHUTTING IS… uhh… YOUR ASS UP!"

C. Falcon retorted!

Retort was ineffective.

Within seconds they were at each other's throats once again. This served as a distraction for which allowed Luigi to escape unnoticed.


	5. Did You Hear?

1-4: Did You Hear

1-4: Did You Hear?

Letters were sent all over the world. Every nook and cranny knew about the up and coming tournament.

"_Dear Sir or Madam,_

_ You have been cordially invited to attend/compete in the Super Smash Bros. Tournament. The tournament will be held in the Mushroom Kingdom. It is here you will fight the most challenging of challengers, the most competitive of competitors. This very message has been sent around the globe. You never know what to expect. What's that?_

_You want a prize? While there is no universal currency, there is one thing everyone wants. A wish granted! That's right, any wish!__ If you win, your wish will be granted using the power of the one and only STAR ROD, which has the power to grant any wish. So come and fight where almost anything goes! Come sign up for the one and only SUPER SMASH BROS.!_

_ Sincerely,_

_ Princess Peach_

_**Wishes must be submitted with registration and approved by the Committee of Wish Approval. So no world domination, undead army, and the like :P**_

Somewhere in the DK Isles

A gorilla was snoozing in his hammock in his tree house. "Banananas… bananas… bananas… bananas…" He murmured in his sleep. All was peaceful and quiet. Then suddenly, without warning, a noisy squawking parrot flew right in through the window.

"SQUAWK!" he squawked, "DK! WAKE UP!" Donkey Kong sat up, lost balance, and fell out of his hammock. "Why are you still sleeping? Haven't you heard?" The parrot recited everything in the aforementioned letter to DK, for he could not read and no one bothered to teach him.

"ANY WISH?" DK asked when the parrot had finished.

"YEA!" The parrot exclaimed in delight.

"I could wish for a GOLDEN BANANA!" DK dream was finally being realized.

" Wait, what? Why would you do that? I mean you wouldn't be able to eat it. Not to mention it'd probably be heavy as hell-"

"SO IT'S SETTLED! I'LL ENTER AND WISH FOR GOLDEN BANANAS! NOW BIRD, FLY ME TO THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM!" DK ignored the parrot's petty logic and prepared for his journey.

"K! LOL!" The parrot grabbed DK's finger and started flapping as hard as he could. DK got a running start and leapt from his tree house. He plummeted like a rock.

"That was fast!" He said, picking himself up, "I never knew the Mushroom Kingdom was so similar looking. It even has a tree house just like mine!"

"But DK we didn't go anywhere. We're still here at the DK Isles. All we did was fall because you're too heavy for me to carry!"

"Oh…" DK stood very still for a moment. The parrot had no idea what he was doing so he decided to sit on DK's head.

"I GOT IT!" DK yelled suddenly. The parrot was freaked the fuck out. DK immediately ran for Diddy's house.

"Who is it?" Diddy asked, working feverishly on his latest gadget.

"It's a-me Donkey Kong!" DK answered. Diddy dropped all his instruments. He ran around the room at lightning speed trying to cover up and hide all his inventions.

"DON'T COME IN YET!" He yelled.

"K! I'm coming in now!" DK replied. He stepped in and looked around.

"Sooo… what's up?" Diddy asked wiping the sweat from his brow.

"Oh nothing," Donkey Kong said, still examining the room. Not once did he look at Diddy.

"Umm… are you… looking for something?" Diddy asked nervously.

"You wouldn't happen to know where your rocket barrels are, would you?"

"Oh that old thing? Ha, I lost that thing a while ago…"

"Really?" DK said approaching his bed. Diddy saw what he was going for. DK pulled the rockets out from under his bed. Diddy looked at him nervously trying to think of a cover.

"OH _THOSE_ ROCKET BARRELS!" was all he could come up with. DK was already putting them on, but he grabbed them to stop him. "Umm, why do you need my only pair of rocket barrels again?" 

He told Diddy exactly what the parrot told him.

"That's amazing!" Diddy said, thinking about all the things he could wish for. Then harsh Logic with his buddy Reality came to visit. "Wait, then how will I get there?"

"Diddy you can't go!"

" What? Whyyyyyy?"

"Look I'll show you!" DK said as he led Diddy outside. He looked around.

"What is i-" The sound of a rocket taking off behind him drowned him out. He looked up to the sky. DK was waving at him.

"THAT'S WHY!" He yelled down to him.

Diddy could do nothing but stand in astonishment and disgust. Was he… just out witted by Donkey Kong?

Back in the Mushroom Kingdom

Mario and Luigi are sitting in their living room. Luigi is watching the Super Mario Bros. Super Show while Mario is busy reading the letter.

" Soo… a wish?" Mario said.

"Looks like it." Luigi added.

"Well…that's kinda… cliché." Mario frowned.

"Tell me about it."

"I mean seriously he could've done better than that."

"'He'?" Luigi, for some reason looked extremely worried at the sound of this comment. Mario realized his mistake.

"Oh! Umm… you know! … He, she, they… I'm just using general pronouns!" They both were killed for breaking the fourth wall resumed the conversation.

"So what are you going to wish for?" Luigi asked.

"I don't know it's tough… maybe I'll wish that Ness kid were dead? Or that Bowser would stop trying to take over." Luigi said nothing but stared at him. "What?" Mario said genuinely.

"You thought of killing the kid next door before stopping your arch nemesis?"

" Huh, guess I did," He shrugged it off as if it were nothing, "Besides Bowser is more like my arch…nuisance."

"Ha! Too true!" Mario met him halfway for a high five.

"Well what would you wish for?"

"Well I would-" He bit his tongue, "Have to think about it for a while."

" Yeah, it's not an easy decision to make." Mario agreed. Luigi nodded, but his brain thought otherwise.

Luigi had already thought about his wish. His wish was to no longer be hidden in Mario's shadow, to no longer have people ask "who?" when he was introduced, to hear the crowd cheer his name. He wanted to be the hero, no longer kicked to the side of the curb by all of his brother's beloved fans.

"Well we have a week to think about it so I say we just sit back and relax." Mario said.

"Shouldn't we start training? You know? To get a jump on the competition?" 

"Well we have three months before the tournament starts…"

"Mhmm.."

"But it still wouldn't be a bad idea. So we'll start in a week?"

"Ok cool."

Of course if Luigi were to even have a chance of winning, he would need a lot of training. He'd have to train extra hard the up coming week, in secrecy of course. He would need a jump on the competition, including Mario. Losing was not an option. He must get his wish!


	6. Rules Are Rules

1-6: Quality Time

1-5: Rules Are Rules

Mario awoke on a fine Saturday afternoon. The sun was shining and the summer air greeted his mustache. He looked at the clock: 1:00 PM. He got out of bed and stretched.

" Ahhhhh! There's nothing more satisfying than waking up naturally. No alarm clocks, and most importantly, no kids throwing eggs at my window."

He went down stairs in his robe and then went outside to fetch the newspaper. When he got outside, however, he couldn't help but notice something was wrong. Eggs being thrown at his window weren't the only things missing. The whole block felt deathly silent. Mario thought about it for a second, but then just blew it off and headed on inside. He sat on the couch and turned the TV on as he read his paper. The silence was beginning to get to him so he read aloud, too.

"Let's see… 'Smash Bros. tournament receives heat for denying wishes…'" He read the same line over and over again. It finally got to him. "HOLY CRAP REGISTRATION IS TODAY!" He jetted up the stairs to his room, slammed the door open, and started to get dressed. Luigi woke with a start.

" I SWEAR I DIDN'T KNOW THIS WAS THE LADIES ROOM!"

"LUIGI! IT'S REGISTRATION DAY!"

"What?" he asked, rubbing the dirt from his eyes.

"SMASH SMASH SMASH!" He repeated

"WHAT!? OMG OMG!!"

Within minutes they were out the door, registration forms in hand, and running towards Mushroom Square. They were greeted with a huge line of people. Luigi stood on his toes to see how far the line went.

"Nuts… looks like we'll be here for a while."

"Oh god." Mario said gasping for air. They waited for a few minutes and nobody seemed to be moving. He poked the guy standing in front of him. "Hello sir, would you mind if we-" The Guy didn't even turn around.

"Look buddy, you're going to halve to wait in line like the rest of us." He replied.

"Excuse me?" Mario was offended; he was a superstar that deserved superstar treatment. "Do you know who I-"

There was a sudden roar in the crowd. An all too familiar roar…

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'DENIED'?!" Bowser argued. One of the Approval Toads was trying to calm him down.

"I'm sorry sir, but you're wish does not meet our standards of acceptability." He said robotically.

"Do you KNOW who you're talking too!? I'm the fucking King Koopa!" Bowser was foaming fire at the mouth now.

"You could be king of Hyrule but that doesn't mean your wish, to have permanent control of the Mushroom Kingdom, will be granted. Now please leave the line before I have to call security." The Toad was standing now, not showing any fear.

"GO AHEAD! I'LL TAKE YOU ALL ON!" Bowser roared again. Mario was getting impatient. This was not getting him to where he was headed.

"Bowser shut up and get out! You're holding up the line." He shouted.

The crowd laughed at Mario's comment.

"Who said that? Huh?" Bowser was eyeballing everyone. Their laughter disappeared into thin air. "Who's got the big mushrooms?"

"Who do you think?" Mario stepped out of the background and into the spotlight. The crowd backed away, forming a big circle in which only Bowser and Mario stood on opposite ends. They both grinned.

" Well if it isn't Mario my archnemes-"

"Halt vile villain!" A young man landed in the center between the two of them.

"Who the hell are you?" Bowser asked. Luigi snuck up behind Mario.

"That's that Link guy that I was telling you about." He whispered. Mario nodded in recognition.

"I am the light that defeats the darkness! I am the Hero of Time, and with the blade of evil's bane, I shall smite you! For I am… Link!" He lifted his sword in the air and one foot off the ground. Apparently he was striking a pose. Mario hid his face in his palm. Luigi however looked on in awe at his heroic introduction.

" So… _you_ wanna fight _me_?" Bowser said after waiting for him to stop posing.

"Yes. I will defeat you!" Link seemed to believe his words. Bowser stared at him for a good five seconds before bursting into a fit of laughter. "What's so funny?" He inquired. Bowser got back up from rolling on the floor and wiped a tear from his eye. He tried to talk through his laughs.

"But you're kmpf wearing teehee a dress! GWAHAHA"

"It's not a dress it's a tunic!" His face was turning red. Bowser was still Loling despite Link's explanation. "Well at least I'm not a turtle…" he muttered.

"WHAHAH- Hey! I'm not a turtle! I'm A KOOPA!" Now Bowser was starting to become a reddish tint. Link smiled at the fact that he turned the tables.

"Oh really? You look like an overgrown turtle to me."

"I'll show you who's a turtle!"

He charged at Link with his right claw reared back. The entire crowd was watching as Link drew his sword but stood his ground. The distance between the two shrunk and shrunk until. SWOOSH Bowser's claw swung out and would have swiped Link's face clean off, had he not ducked a split second before. Using his left hand, Link swung his arm and hit Bowser in the gut with the hilt of his sword. He then followed through with his right hand and delivered an uppercut with his shield. Bowser hung in the air for a second, his feet a few inches off the ground. There was a colossal thud as he landed on his back.

"You see? You can't even get off of your shell!"

Mario stood there with his mouth wide open. He had called Bowser a nuisance before, but he could never take him out that fast. Luigi popped out of the crowd to examine Bowser.

"Why he's…. he's out cold!" He announced.

The entire audience cheered so loud the ground shook. And for the first time in Mario's life, it wasn't for him. Linked put his sword away, looked at Mario, whose mouth was still open, and just stroked his hair.

"Eheh…" He said, as if he didn't know his own strength.

Luigi could sense Mario's discomfort and snuck him out. They headed back home. Later on Luigi cooked up some spaghetti. They said nothing for a while, until Luigi felt that he was compelled to break the silence.

"So…" He said. Nothing came out. "That was really something wasn't it?"

"Don't…" Mario said, just barely audibly.

"What?"

"Just don't Luigi…"

"You'll never feel better until you talk about it y'know."

Mario picked up his plate and took it into the living room. He turned the TV on. It was the news.

"-where earlier today a fight between Bowser and a strange boy in a dress, whose name has been confirmed to be Link, to place. Let's get an instant replay of the fight!"

He turned the TV off. The rest of the night was painfully silent. They both went to bed without saying a word


	7. The Misadventures of DK & Co

1-6: The Misadventures of DK & Co.

DK's left barrel blew out not long after he left his home. But it lasted long enough to get him over land. He spiraled down into a clear path in a forest. He stood up and tried to make sense of the sign nearby.

"w-w-w-w-w-wel-welc-"

He spotted a person approaching out of the corner of his eye. Instinctively he leapt into the bushes.

"WOWZERZ! What was that thing?" The person said. DK realized the jig was up and jumped back into the open, his guard raised.

"Oh man! A Primeape!! I gotta catch him! All of them! EVERY LAST ONE!!" His eye twitched.

He expanded a pokeball and chucked it at DK's face. Needless to say, DK wasn't too happy about that. He wound up his arm, charged at the Pokemon Trainer, and unleashed hell all over his face. OHKO!

"Jeez what a jerk." DK said examining his foe, "Hey look, balls!" DK grabbed the unconscious Pokemon Trainer's balls and pressed them both. Two strange animals came out.

"What happened?" The yellow one said.

"Did you do this?" Said the pink one.

"Yup."

"THANK YOU!" The pink one bowed, "My god, this kid caught us the other day. We've been trapped in those things ever since!"

The yellow interjected, "It's horrible! They force us to fight one another for their entertainment."

"That's sick!" DK said.

"I know! And when they're done having us beat each other, they shove us into those tiny little balls."

"But you've released us! How can we ever repay you?"

"Do you grant wishes?" DK thought happy thoughts.

"What? You mean like a genie?"

"Yes." DK nodded.

"No."

"Oh." They stood their looking at DK, who wasn't looking at anything in particular. Then he started walking. He went right past them as if they weren't even there.

"Wait where are you going?" Said the pink.

"I'm going to fight in a tournament and win a wish."

"A wish you say?"

"Yup. I'mma wish myself a Golden Banana." DK smiled again at this fool-proof wish.

"Why?" Yellow had to interject, "You can't eat it, and it'd probably be heavy as hell." DK shook his head and corrected him.

"No no no. I said a GOLDEN Banana."

"Bu-"

"Do you mind if we tag along?" Pink prevented Yellow from pursuing the matter.

"K."

"Cool! Well this is Pikachu and my name is Jigglypuff, but you can call me Jiggs."

"K." He repeated. They waited for Donkey Kong.

"… and your name is…." Jiggs added.

"Donkey Kong, but you can call me DK."

"Donkey Kong? What kind of name is that? I mean I get the Kong part, but Donkey?" Pikachu tried to imply logic again.

"Yep."

"That doesn't even answer th-"

"SO! Which way are we headed DK?"

"Well I don't know now. I was spiraling out of the sky and lost all sense of direction."

"Out of the sky?" Pikachu asked, Jiggs could already see what she was getting at.

"Yep."

"Ok, umm, WHY were you in the sky again?"

"Because I was flying using my rocketbarrels."

"Rocketbarrels?"

"Yup."

"As in barrels filled with rocket fuel that, when lit, do NOT explode but act as some kind of controllable propulsion unit?"

"YES." He leaned towards Jiggs and whispered loudly, "Not the brightest banana in the bunch." Jiggs tried to hold in his laughter, which caused him to puff up. But after he calmed down he was able to talk again.

"So you have NO idea where to go, correct?"

"Nope."

"So you do know where to go?" Pikachu asked.

"I said "NO" GOD!" DK was getting frustrated.

"Well maybe if we head into town we'll find some information." Jiggs said.

"I highly doubt that they'll just let us roam the streets." Pikachu pointed out.

"Well what do you suggest we do?" Jiggs said. Pikachu thought for a moment but drew a blank. The unconscious trainer was starting to wake. She finally came to a conclusion.

"I guess we have no choice."

"C'mon DK town is this way."

And so off they went to Palette Town hoping to somehow find their way to the Mushroom Kingdom.


End file.
